Let me say I am sorry that it has been so long without a post. As some of you know, and some of you don't, I have suffered with depression and keeping it in check for a large part of my life (I feel like I am coming out of the closet here). I haven't taken any medicine for a while now because I have been having sleep issues and concerns about it being passed in my breast milk to Daniel. Well with the general stresses of three kids, concerns about an impending move and my mother being in the hospital for what is going onto three weeks now my depression has been creeping up on me. I have been trying to fight it with books about talking yourself better, positive thoughts, time to myself in the evenings but it hasn't helped and it has just been getting worse. So after breaking down crying the other night after the rodeo (i will write about that in a second) because I am so frustrated that I look at my life and see how blessed I am. I have probably the best relationship with my husband I have had in the almost nine years we have been married, I have three beautiful healthy children, I have my own health, we are financially secure (well enough anyway) I really am happy with my life so it is frustrating to still not be happy. Well needless to say... I am starting up on a medicine again and hopefully my mood will pick up and I will have the energy to post regularly again. Afterall, I do this to have a record of our own family life and activities.
On to a brighter note... We came into some tickets to the rodeo and went on Saturday. It was fun but exhausting and although the tickets didnt' cost very much when you are buying four of them it adds up. So when the kids started whining and complaining it erked me b/c you feel like they don't appreciate the money you just spent on them- blah, blah... Of course they don't appreciate the amount of money you just spent. If that is a problem for you (me) then don't spend that much. They are afterall only 5 and 3. But at what age do you expect them to appreciate money, teach them the value of money??? The struggles of being a parent. Anyway, back on topic.
So we showed up at 1:00 and took one of those guys biking around to get to the rodeo as it was WAY too far to walk. Then the boys both got $10 worth of tickets to spend on rides as they pleased. First the crazy fun house with the clear plexiglass maze was funny b/c they were trying to get through (by themselves) and kept bumping into the walls. Then they wanted to do bumper cars. Darren had Daniel so I had both boys (which doesn't work for bumper cars) so I offered to pay for the lady in front of me if she would let Ian sit in her car. It was fun. Then Ian wanted to do the farris wheel (no thanks) and Alex wanted to do the haunted roller coaster. I took Alex on his then came back to get Daniel from his and he had fallen asleep so guess who had to ride the ferris wheel? The one person TERRIFIED of heights. ME. Needless to say I kept my eyes CLOSED.
Then we age a snack of funnel cakes and deep fried cupcakes and went on to watch the rodeo. We had the BEST seats. We were in the section with the suites so behind our seats was enclosed with fancy food, couches and big screen T.V.s NICE. The boys enjoyed it but if I could have gotten on film Ian's face when he saw them tying up the calves for the first time. It was horror and hysterical. He was very concerned that it was hurting the calves so I dropped him on the ground and stuck his legs and arms together and picked him up to show him it doesn't :)
Then Brooks and Dunn. Fun but at that point the boys were getting worn out. So we watched a few shows, Darren and I danced to one performance and then we headed out. We didn't get home until 9pm. A long Day.
Oh and to back up for a second. Some freak lady walked up to me (i am going to assume she was drunk) and wiped a swab of her perfume on Daniels face. What the HECK!!! Wierdo.
Okay well this post is long enough (guess that is what happens when I go so long in between posts)... so other than that we all went to see my mom at the hospital, Alex had a pottery painting bday party to go to, my sister took the boys to souper salad for dinner, laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping - that absorbed our weekend.
Will post photos later.
5 comments:
You forgot to talk about the whole ordeal with them as they realized that the $10 they each had to spend on nick-nacks was not going to get them that much.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling down. I wondered what was going on, since you haven't been blogging much and haven't responded to any of my updates or emails, which is not like you.
You DO have a lot to be happy about and thankful for in your life, but since depression is a chemical thing, that probably explains how you can feel depressed even though you know/think you shouldn't feel that way. Hopefully the medicine will help.
And you ARE under a lot of stress, with your mom, the upcoming trip, etc. Hopefully your mom will continue to improve and that will help.
Spreaking of the possible move, what's going on with that? Did Darren hear anything definite yet?
As far as the "kids understanding the value of money thing," it DOES get a bit better as they get older - they seem to "get it" more.
Just so no one thinks that there was something scandalous or really juicy, I am the one who deleted a comment. I was having trouble posting my comment, so I did it twice - once using my blogger/google account (which didn't seem to work) and once using "other," but then they both posted! So I deleted one. But now that I see it, it looks like there's a "story" behind the deletion (i.e. "what did the person say, why'd they decide to delete it?!" so I decided I had better explain.
I've been thinking about you. Hopefully the medicine will help even everything out. I can only imagine what it is like to balance home with three kids, but you do it so wonderfully to all of us looking in from the outside--all the crafts, special trips, one-on-one conversations. Your boys are so lucky!
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