Tonight I was forced to have "the talk" with Ian. You know the one I am talking about. The one that I had to preface- You can't tell any of your friends about this, although in reality he was told about it by his friend (Argghhh)
Ian: Mom can I ask you something.
Nicole (hairdryer blowing in the background): Sure, ask away.
Ian: How are babies made?
Nicole (trying not to choke on herself and buying some time to think this through): Ummm... Give me a second to finish drying my hair because I can't think and do this at the same time.
Okay not off to the best start here.
Nicole (trying to remember not to give more information than was asked): From the mommy and daddy.
Ian: I know but how are they made.
Nicole: Well the man has something in his body called sperm and the woman has eggs and together they make a baby.
Please god let this answer his question. But nooooo....
Ian: Where are they?
Nicole: The sperm is the man's penis and the egg is in the mommy.
Ian: But how does the sperm get to the egg?
Nicole: Ummm.... The man's penis goes into a hole the mommy has and it gets put there. (Don't ask what my discomfort with using the word vagina was)
Ian: Oh.
Ian: So hashem doesn't make the baby, just mom's and dad's? (hashem=god)
Nicole: Well, he decides if the sperm and egg will go together to make the baby. We can't make that happen.
Whew... Maybe we made it through this conversation. But nooooo....
Ian: So what is sex?
Nicole (thinking you have GOT to be kidding me): It is what I talked about where the man's penis goes in the hole.
Ian: Oh, okay. Adam says it is a bad word.
Nicole: Well it isn't a bad word. Just not something to discuss with your friends. It is something that husband's and wife's discuss.
Ian: Or to talk about with your mom and dad.
Nicole: Yes, that too.
So that was my very fumbled, wish I could take it back, talk I had to have way too early with my seven year old.
Darren got stuck with the avoid answering the question on the tooth-fairy issue. I would have preferred that conversation.
3 comments:
For the record, I think you did a great job! I'm not looking forward to it, myself... But I like what Ian said: "Or to talk about with your mom and dad." It's so good for them to feel comfortable talking to mom and dad about anything!
well, you got the questions much earlier than we did (I think harrison was 10 or so, which meant that jacob and michela were about 8) sounds like you handled it well. i don't think we did much better at first! it gets much easier to talk about and i agree with ian, definitely something that can and should be talked about with your mom and dad. Harrison talks to us about everything (he's almost 13 now) and my mom friends tell me that none of their almost 13 year old kids confide in them as much about sexual feelings, who likes who, who they dance with at school dances, etc. i think open communication is the key to keeping kids out of trouble as they enter the teen years!
Way to go, Nicole! I can just imagine how cool and collected you were--even if you feel like you weren't. You have a talent with communicating with your kids. Can I tell my kids to call you when they finally ask me about s-e-x? Please???
Oh, and your Snuggie post won't let me comment. Thank you so much for the shout out! That fake snuggie video is so funny. I love the magic spells.
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