Some interesting "B" family household tidbits...
Tonight I was teaching my children the meaning and correct usage of the phrase "Hello!! McFly!!" (to completely date myself) in place of other less nice things to say such as idiot or stupid. I did explain that while this can be used on daddy, it can only be used theoretically on mommy - as mommy is never wrong and never acts stupid it really would serve no purpose.
Phrases I never thought I would say or surely thought wouldn't be said as often as I say them (top 10)
10. Stop taking his (imaginary) toys away from him. Play with your own.
9. Stop touching yourself.
8. Life's not fair.
7. No you can't have that!
6. Stop licking the window (or some other public area)
5. Don't pick my nose.
4. Get back in bed right now!
3. Don't put your fingers in your brother bottom.
2. Lets leave people are staring at us.
And drum roll please.
1. Get that knife out of your butt!
No, I will not explain some of these, just take them as truth and move on. I am sure there are many more but as it is getting late that is what I came up with. Any you can add to it?
So my question for you. I was discussing with a friend of mine all the things you say and/or thinking about saying that sound horrible. What phrase have you thought of saying but have stopped yourself (or not) because you know how bad it would sound. My favorite this week is "Don't make me give you something to cry about" No I didn't say it but after my friend told me that is what she thinks of I have been cracking up b/c it is sooo true.
2 comments:
Life's not fair is definitely on my list (my version is actually "life's not fair, so deal with it," as is a version of "stop touching yourself," but what I say is "if you want to do that, please go to the privacy of your own bedroom."
One of my funniest ones that we still sometimes talk about is one day when we were at Target and had lunch in the food court. the kids were begging for ice cream. We were lunching on Target hot dogs, pizzas and fries. I said something like "you can't have ice cream until you've eating your healthy food first." Then Marlon and I bust up laughing at the absurdity of it. To be honest, the ice cream (with calcium) could have very well *been* the most healthy of the menu!
Some of my regulars (which definitely reflect the older ages of the kids...)
1. It's time to read
2. Interestingly, when it's really time to turn the lights out, it becomes "stop reading now and go to sleep!"
3. No TV or game cube until after homework is done
4. don't forget to look both ways before you cross the street
5. call me from your cell when you get there (Harrison can go to his friends' houses in the neighborhood without me taking him, but he HAS to call when he gets there.)
6. All the time -- "You're WAY too loud."
7. Stop fighting, NOW!
8. ALWAYS do the extra credit or challenge assignments.
9. There's no such thing as a free lunch
10. Just so you dont' think ALL I do is nag -- "I'm so proud of you" and "I love you" also top my list of things I say all the time! :)
C'mon, you aren't going to explain number 1???
You are genius to suggest "Hello, McFly?" as an alternative to stupid and dumb. I'll have to remember that one.
I have been saying this alot since Ashton has FINALLY discovered his peeps, "Remember that is where you go pee and poop, please, hands off."
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