Purim Performance

Tonight's purim peformance was great. The kids were adorable and I am working on uploading some video for you to see. In the meantime these pictures will have to do.

Ian and Alex

Alex and his class.

Ian on stage

Alex on stage

Also on a different note. I had a hard conversation with Ian today.

First. He is upset that his swim coach is pushing him harder (per my instructions) so that he will learn to swim by this summer which is his goal, but he says he can't do it, he is scared about it, says he was crying in swim lessons, etc. etc. Part of me wants to tell the instructor to back off b/c I feel bad for him and part of me feels like Ian needs to understand that initial failure at something is part of the learning process. How will he ever learn what it feels like to work hard for something and get it or learn it if he doesn't ever do that. Or is it too early to teach this?

Second. When he was telling me about how he was crying he said that another kid started crying also and it was his fault. That is his thing these days. To be really down on himself about everything. So this is our conversation

Me: People choose how they act and feel. I choose if I am happy, sad or angry. You don't make me that way. Just like you choose how you feel or if you choose to behave.

Ian: But he was crying b/c I was crying so it is my fault

Me: Ian it makes my heart sad that you think everyone's behavior's are your fault. That you don't realize that we all choose how we feel or behave.

Ian: Are you mad at me?

Me: No, do I seem mad at you?

Ian: No. Just checking. I don't want your heart to be sad, b/c then my heart is sad for making yours sad.

I didn't know what to say at this point. Any suggestions on 1.) What to do with swimming and 2.) How do you interact with someone who is so sensitive? I want him to understand that he has permission to react and act in certain ways without the world crumbling around him. Thoughts?