There are days where my kids drive me crazy. Days where I was glad we all survived intact and maybe not so bad for the yelling that took place. But these are not the days I chose to remember. What do I remember?
Forever burned in my memory will be the excitement Alex had today going to his Kindergarten playdate. Getting to meet his friends (one in particular) and play on what is now HIS playground equipment. He is so excited to part of that school. He just glowed (can you use that word with a boy?)
I want it burned in my memory forever the huge smile on his face and the fact that he was so happy he didn't mind my taking his picture. I just wanted to hug him and not send him to bed but rejoice in how happy he was.
And now I sit and cry that the child who was once my baby. The one I thought might be the baby of our family. The one I carried/ wore everywhere Ian took us. The one who is frequently overlooked and I feel horrible about it. The one who, even though it can be hard to get a smile out of him, has the best smile I have ever seen. This child of mine is going to kindergarten. It is as if he is slipping out of my hands and becoming a real boy. A boy who will shortly become a young man.
Tonight my Alex did not go to bed with his dog that he normally sleeps with but with his care bear because the teacher he is hoping to get has the "care bear" class. I love him so much but when did he get so big? And how do I protect him from all the bad that is going to happen from this point forward? I know "blessings of a skinned knee" but that is easier said than done.
So for now I will go to bed with tears in my eyes but the most beautiful happy image of my child in my memory and in my heart!
6 comments:
what a sweet tribute to a very sweet boy! His smile really does warm your heart. If you think starting kindergarten is hard, wait until he starts middle school, has a girlfriend or gets his Torah portion! I've found that all of thr "milestones" are bittersweet...
I know it is hard knowing you can't always protect your children from the bad things in life, just remember that all the wonderful things will get him through it (and there is always his Aunt Audrey to fall back on).
Hi Nicole-
I will get better at posting! I just read your sweet post about Alex and sadly, I am already having those thoughts about Asher and he is only 7 months old...he is 22 pounds which I am told is the average one year old and has outgrown so much already...its all going by way too fast which makes me feel good about our decision for me to stay home instead of go back to work right away. Just think about how lucky you are to have been able to spend so much time with him as he has grown and what a good job you must be doing for him to be such a happy child.
Cate
May he always have that smile and excitement when it comes to learning! He is a wonderful boy.
Jody
It really is hard letting go sometimes. I remember my oldest daughter's first day of kindergarten. She was so happy and I was happy for her, and so proud, but oh how I missed my little girl.
Enjoy every minute you have with your boys, they are treasures!!
Oh, Nicole, why are you trying to make me cry? This is so sweet. And, you are right, Alex's smile is awesome!
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